It's What's Eating You

How are you doing this week? I hope you have been enjoying the beautiful spring weather. Did you manage to get in some good workouts this past week? How has your nutrition been lately?

The past couple of weeks many people have given up something that they love to eat or drink. As you might know Wednesday February 28 was Ash Wednesday, a day when Catholics began the practice of Lent, a period of 40 days observed with self-reflection and penance.

Catholics and non-Catholics alike celebrate the day before Lent as "Mardi Gras." "Mardi Gras" means, "Fat Tuesday" in French. It is a day of decadent partying, which often includes copious consumption of food and drink. Lent ends with Easter, when many Christians and non-Christians consume rich meals, which might be massive "all you can eat" brunches or dinners such as leg of lamb or ham. No Easter would be complete without gigantic baskets filled with chocolate eggs and marshmallow Peeps. I have heard that next to Valentine's Day, Easter is the biggest "candy holiday."

What many people do before, during and after Lent reminds me of what I used to do when I was dieting. I remember many a time when I would go on a diet. I would have my own Mardi Gras, which included a massive amount of beef and rich chocolaty desserts. For the next 3 months, I would eat what I thought were healthy "diet" foods: hard-boiled eggs, grapefruit juice, carrots, celery, cottage cheese and canned dietetic tuna. Along with the diet, I would exercise to an extreme. It didn't matter whether I liked these foods or not or whether I enjoyed the physical activity; all that mattered was that I lost a lot of weight very quickly. I would lose a lot of weight, declare victory and then celebrate with a lot of rich lavish meals and rest up from my harsh exercise regimen.

Of course I would gain back all the weight I had lost and then some. I would beat myself up because I had "failed" and then begin another long period of physical inactivity and imbalanced eating. This was quite a vicious circle. I had difficulty focusing on what I needed to do when I was overweight or when I dieted. When I was overweight, all I could think about was how huge I was. When I was dieting, I obsessed about what I was not eating. I was truly lost; I had dug myself into a hole and had no idea how I would climb out.

And then one day I saw a phrase that put my problem into perspective. "It's not what you eat, it's what's eating you." I then realized that the problem I had was not food itself, but the relationship I had with food. I used food to calm myself when I felt stressed, to try to make me happy when I was sad and to channel my anger. I never actually derived any enjoyment from food, only guilt. I could diet and exercise forever, but unless I changed my relationship with food, I would be doomed to failure.

I didn't change my behavior overnight; I began unlearning years of bad habits by taking "baby steps." I kept a journal of what I ate, how much I ate and what my mood and activity was while I ate. The journal helped me modify my behavior around food. I learned to eat when I was truly hungry and ate more balanced nutritious meals that included foods that I enjoyed. I learned to truly enjoy food without guilt.

Occasionally I might lapse into old behavior; if I do I forgive myself and move on. My life is now more balanced and I am able to better focus on my goals and objectives.

We often lose track of what is important; instead of focusing on our long-term health we focus on how our body will appear in the near term. Sometimes we focus outward when we should be focused inward. Each day we should take stock of ourselves and allow time for some self-reflection.

"Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced."
-James Baldwin